Sunday, May 3, 2009
The Rubber Dog
This is Uncle Stinky Jon's Dog, Kozmo, or Kosmo, or Cosmo, or Cozmo (I don't know how he spells it. I can't ask him because he's a dog; and, well, he's never written his name). Kozzy is what I call him. He got in a wicked bad fight when he was younger and lost half an ear, but the fact that he came back and can talk about it...I just have the utmost respect. Uncle Stinky is in Costa Rica changing the world. His parents have had Kozzy for the year that Jon has been gone, but we've acquired him for a month while Jon's parents go down to visit him. And black dogs are welcome here because I'm not prejudiced. I wrote about Jon here. Uncle Stinky Jon got his name because all of Paul Bunyan's college buddies are uncles to my children. There is Uncle Dirty and Uncle Robert Winkler and Uncle Timmy Jimmy Fender Hender and there are some other crazy ones but they're not allowed near my children. Uncle Stinky doesn't really stink, but I had to give him a more unique and special name than Jon; one that my children would find funny and one that would stick and forever embarrass him from here on out. I'm sure Claire will thank Uncle Stinky at her wedding for drinking heavily when she was a little girl and scarring her for life because she saw him ziplining naked in the dark.
Anyway, Kozzy is a rubber. He is a black rubber dog. He rubs. He rubs on you. This is how he lets you know he's there. He rubs on you when he's wet. He doesn't hump. He just rubs. Other than rubbing, he doesn't have too many other bizarre behavioral issues. Oh wait, there is this small thing he does with a ball. Yea, the ball thing. This dog is addicted to balls. Any size, shape, or color. He luuuuvs balls. He's twelve and a half and all his balling around has made him hobble, a lot. So, we've had strict orders to keep the balls away. But I couldn't resist, just this once, to show you the effects of the addiction. He really could do this all day long. I've seen it.
Kozzy first tries to get you to throw the ball, which (of course) we're not allowed to do. But do not fear...he will figure it out on his own!
He then plays catch with himself on the end of the dock for as long as he is able to before this happens:
And then he watches and contemplates for a very long time.
And he watches some more before deciding to....
Liebe thinks he's crazy, but Kozzy doesn't give a shit.
Now, let's do it all over again. Play...
whoa, whoa. I almost lost it.
All right let's get it.
Needless to say, this dog sleeps well at night.
Listen to Jon sing!!
Sometimes Life - Jon Marshall