It's A....It's A...It's A Girl!!

This is my mother. Her name is Harriet. Everyone who meets her loves her. I don't know anyone who doesn't. She has taught me how to collect fireflies, how to do my laundry, how to balance a check book, how to sew, how to knit, how to grow a garden, how not to cook (sorry, we had a lot of microwaved dinners), how to make a bed, how to do geometry (she's a math teacher), how to love animals, how to be tough, how to finish what I started, how to believe in myself, and most importantly (and I what I want most for my kids...) how to be kind.

My mom was just visiting. I love being with my mom. It always makes me feel safe, even when I'm already safe. I feel like she can fix anything. I guess I want that for my kids too, to feel like I can fix anything.



I'm glad my mom was here this weekend. She was able to help Paul Bunyan and me. We had some shit to deliver. You know, alpaca shit. I didn't want to do that with the spawn around, because shit and the spawn don't mix. Words out that our alpaca shit is worth something. We've been giving it away to anyone who will take it. But now that it's actually a commodity worth something, we're delivering it to gardeners in town who are willing to pay us to shovel it. We had just brought a truckload to neighbors in town and had returned to the farm for a second load. It was just starting to rain, dark clouds on the horizon. Paul Bunyan couldn't get the truck up the tractor road to the shit pile because of the wet ground. I let Liebe out of the truck to get some exercise. We were going to go open the upper gates so Paul Bunyan could drive through the upper pastures to the shit pile. The alpacas are a bit nervous with Liebe around, but none more nervous than Chloe. Chloe (as mentioned in my shearing post, was due (like) yesterday) she came after Liebe like an ultimate fighter on speed. She pinned her down. Paul Bunyan was yelling, "get her outta here!!" (talking about Liebe). That's when we noticed that Chloe, who is trying to kill our dog, has two legs and a head sticking out of her vagina. "Holy Shit," I thought, "she's havin' a baby!" Now I was worried about Chloe, and not so much Liebe, although I love her very much. Very much. I sprinted toward the gate that leads up to our house and luckily Liebe was able to free herself from Chloe's hoofs to follow me to the path. I ran up the hill to our house and made sure that Liebe was safe inside. I panted to my mother that Chloe was having her baby and to make sure the dogs stayed inside. She simply replied, "Okay, take your time. We've got everything covered up here." I ran back down and at this point, it was starting to rain pretty hard. PB had Chloe in the tent and was watching the baby being birthed, but before I could turn the corner to look, he asked if I could run back up to the house to grab some clean towels. Holy Shit...I needed to sprint back up the hill...but good thing, I forgot to grab my camera anyway. As I was returning through the pasture with clean white towels and camera tucked underneath, a bolt of lightening and an earth shattering thunder, our first of the season, made me duck for cover. I rounded the corner, Paul Bunyan grabbed a towel, and scooped up this bundle of joy to clean her off.






My dear momma (first time momma!) you've done a great job!!




Here Paul Bunyan is pulling the amniotic sac off of "Lightning".



Prima, the next momma due to have a baby, gets a sniff of the new herd member.





Brand New Momma Chloe gets to sniff her new baby girl!





Poor little Lightning is cold and confused, and still has goop on her nose.




We try to warm her with a "jacket".



Oh, my god, am I tired.




But, we gotta give standin' up a try.



Let me just take a little rest here.




Before I try again. Here we go. Here we go.



Okay, I think I've got it.



Within an hour, Lightning was up and trying to nurse. She was, albeit, a little cold, but let's hope Momma can keep her warm.



Whoa, but first we gotta get rid of this shit. Here comes the placenta. If you are at all squeamish, please don't look at the following pictures (I know you all want to keep looking!)



Paul Bunyan collects the placenta.



Okay, don't look. Really, don't look....









I told you not to.

I had c-sections for all my children. I never had to see any of my insides, or feel it for that matter. This is the closest I've been to a placenta. I'm glad it's not mine.


Good job Momma bird. You're one tough chick. Now, all I ask is that you teach Lightning to be kind...and not to spit on anyone. Because really, that's all that matters in life. Right Mom??