Monday, May 18, 2009

Our Woodsplitter Apprentices

Paul Bunyan says that it's the husbands, the tough wood splitters themselves, who come into the Emergency Department with fingers dangling by ligaments or packaged in sandwich bags, saved to be reattached. Guilty wives stand next to them, trying to tell them how sorry they are. The women are the ones running the lever on the splitter; husbands, being the stronger gender, place the heavy logs on top and invariably lose appendages because the wife wasn't looking, or wasn't paying attention, or didn't listen and flipped that lever into the forward position, squeezing the log against the blade and inadvertently chopping her husband's finger off. Woops.

I've been hesitant to run the splitter with Paul Bunyan for this reason. I don't want to be standing beside his hospital bed, apologizing to his favorite colleagues (who are trying to stitch his index finger back on) that he will no longer be the 'go to' nurse for pediatric i.v.'s or digital disimpaction because I wasn't watching what I was doing. They'd be very upset with me. So, needless to say, I was very happy to see these two grunts learning the ropes of the splitter. Beside the hum of the Honda motor, the valley echoed with the booming voice of Paul Bunyan yelling, "FORWARD" and "BACK". There was no way for the little apprentices not to hear his commands; but still, it was a bit of a risk to have two four year olds at the helm.

Especially when they need one of these to operate the machinery.

Paul Bunyan can't get his fingers smashed with this's too big.

But with one this size, if all parties are not paying attention, it could be the "wrecker".

I hope this goomba finds splitting this fun when he has to do it after a night of binge drinking with his buddies.

But I'm definitely glad he's trying to concentrate.

Even if it is just for a short time.

Yea, I'm glad it's you and not me buddy.

Keep workin' hard and daddy just might buy you an excavator (a real one, so he can use it).

Or maybe a skidder, if you really want one.

And probably a dump truck (so you can sell and deliver all this wood). That is, if you don't chop his fingers off. Good luck (and pay attention)!!

1 comment:

  1. i'm guessing PB treated our Poker Hill neighbors for such an incident last fall. in this case, no wives were involved - instead the 60-something husbands were doing their annual wood festivities. the good news is that the 2 gentlemen were still speaking with each other at the neighborhood xmas party...even though one of them now sported 2 fingers that were shorter than at the previous xmas party.....