Monday, April 13, 2009

Spring Training

The Easter Bunny did come yesterday. He (or she in this case) left a few candy wrappers on the couch. I told the kids, when they found them in the morning, that He must have needed a break between houses. woops.

I don't really know what to tell the kids about why the Big Brown Bunny comes into the house, magically through the walls, to leave jelly beans hidden everywhere for them to find in the morning. We don't get into the Jesus Christ thing...we're not the church goin' type and I guess we're goin' to hell for that, but I suppose you gotta believe in hell to get there. But that's another spring story for another spring day.

Anyway, Paul Bunyan was away for the weekend down at the Frozen Four (what a game!) and then had to go straight to work (and celebrate with Andrea Philips, co-worker of PB's and wife to our HERO Capt. Philips), so I had to come up with some activity for my three little "psychos on sugar," who all ate about 1/3 of their Easter buckets. We had all originally planned on going to Stowe to ski. My friends plan an 80's ski party every Easter at Stowe. I have yet to be able to go. But this year, now that the rats are skiing in a pack and on their own, I thought I could bring'em with me. So when I woke to snow flurries this morning, I thought, if I don't go skiing, how the hell am I going to tucker these bunnies out?

Here's what stupid does. Stupid looks at the snow conditions at Stowe (anyway):

Base: 23 degrees
Summit: 12 degrees
Machine Groomed/Loose/Frozen Granular

Stupid doesn't have another plan to tucker these bunnies she goes anyway. Stupid wears her old 80's ski jacket, and hat, and glasses, despite the party pretty much being cancelled. Stupid gets the bunnies in their ski gear and gets them on the gondola, with the help of her very smart friend Katy, who isn't in 80's ski gear. Stupid starts skiing down the hill with bunnies. Here are her interpretations of the ski conditions listed on the Stowe website.

Machine Groomed: some machine, other than the fancy Stowe ski cat, came up on that mountain during the night. Stupid thinks it was more like the zamboni Paul Bunyan was watching all weekend at the Frozen Four.

Loose: If you could take millions of snow cones and instead of pouring blueberry, grape, or strawberry syrup over them, you (instead) poured some kind of grey matter on top and then spread this over the ice sheet that the zamboni layed the night before, you would understand what we were skiing through.

Frozen Granular: Large chunks of ice balls, similar in size and shape to small boulders, were periodically spaced on the trails, allowing for great entertainment for Claire, as she tried to pick them up and place them elsewhere, all while she was skiing down the mountain.

Stupid took two runs and then went to have a beer with her two smart friends Katy and E, who did not wear their 80's garb; and Katy's husband, who did not where his 80's garb; and Katy's baby Cally, who could wear anything and be cute; and E's son Rowan, who couldn't be talked into taking more than one run; and all my bunnies.

On the drive home I was trying to justify why I did such a stupid thing...and here's what I came up with. We were having Spring Training. I am training my bunnies to be the best damn skiers EVER. You want to learn how to ski on any terrain? SKI THE EAST! You want to learn how to ski on any terrain fast? SKI THE EAST BABY! You want to learn how to huck yourself off a cliff and land on small boulder shaped ice chunks and survive? SKI THE EAST HONEY! They really will rock when they take their tour of duty out west as a ski bum, which I may just require.

Well, I did get to have some peace and quiet on the way home, because wouldn't you know it, my goal to tucker them out worked!

Oh damn,

that was just in my stupid head.

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