Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Hey, Mr. Tooth Fairy!

Yes, so I remember being in Mrs. Schweikhart's first grade class. I had my Holly Hobby metal lunch box and I had just finished unwrapping a bagel with cream cheese that my mother had so neatly folded in waxed paper. I took a big bite and hmph, out came my tooth.

That's all I remember.

Well, I knew things were going to start falling out all over the place here. Everything is loose. So, I went to the bank in my frilliest outfit and asked politely for 16 of the crispest one dollar bills. I've got 8 for him. And 8 for him. Because god forbid anyone receives 4 quarters.

I wrapped my crisp bills in a tightly sealed envelope and hid that sucker so Paul Bunyan wouldn't steal any of it for maple creemies.

And then wouldn't you know, this happened:

And wouldn't you know it happened to HIM first. Because he came out second, talked second, crawled second, walked second, pooped on the potty second, learned how to tie his shoe second, played T-ball second best, road his bike second best, played soccer second best.

And just this morning he was waving his dollar bill around FIRST thing. And everyone had to stop for a second and watch.

**In a frightful panic so as not to forget, and because I'm ghastly afraid of being the one to get 'caught', I taped a note (Hey, Mr. Tooth Fairy) and a freshly pressed one dollar bill from my hidden and sealed envelope to the front door. Strategically placed so that when Paul Bunyan came home from sanding and painting trim at his man lover's house, he would see that it was time. He, of course, has been known to do "magic" and leave special candies under the spawn's pillows at 2 a.m. when he returns home from the E.R. AND because he has a keen likeness in appearance to the tooth fairy, it just makes sense to me that he is more prepared and designed to take on this dirty duty. After just now interviewing him, he claims it was a painstaking job, filled with a long and suspenseful wait as Auggie tossed and turned for 20 minutes. When he was complaining to me about how difficult it was, my only reply was, "dood, wait until you have to climb up to the top bunk to steal Timmy's teeth." He says to me, "I'm retiring."

hmph. Now what are we going to do?

**can you guess which one is me??


  1. way to be first, a5!

    tell the tooth fairy that proper attire makes it easier: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_Tg0MzevcKNk/SgGwcFMW3bI/AAAAAAAAAWM/714EhLq20mg/s1600-h/toothfairy.JPG

    and with the class foto quiz, it would have been more of a challenge if you asked which striped shirt fellow was your first grade bf.

    (i'm so glad i told all of you front row girls to fold your hands in front of you).

  2. You are easy to pick out. 2nd from the left in the front. I thought a tough was worth $5 by now.

  3. Hi Hussy,

    Just checking in... hope your tooth fairy has a better track record than ours, who's often a day late and a dollar short.

  4. Jules, those 'morning after' tricks are important. We'll have to share secrets!