Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Aquaman...he rises again.
I'd like to introduce you to Aquaman. His superhero suit is a bit hairy. But it provides a layer of warmth for his long underwater searches for garbage at the bottom of ponds. His bald head is aerodynamically designed for diving into the dark depths of water. He is saving the world one golf ball at a time. Unbeknownst to him, his perpetrator is standing next to him. She is the reason why discarded Christmas Tree Shop Swag is contributing to algae blooms at the bottom of her pond. And next year Aquaman will be diving down for a long lost fire ring, decorated in moose and pine trees, which was tossed in with a few sun umbrellas. And everyone will cheer, "Hey Aquaman, I didn't even know that was gone! Hooooray for Aquaman".
This is the perpetrator's view, every morning noon and night. Unless there is a blizzard outside. I know, so not fair.
This is the perpetrator herself, from my view, which was under an umbrella, under a sun hat, under 70+ sunscreen. I almost apprehended her myself on Tuesday. Her car was exploding with Christmas Tree Shop swag; tiki torches were spilling out of open windows. She skidded out and took off down the dirt road when I approached her car. I couldn't give chase, as I didn't want any of the swag to fall out and litter the road. Aquaman doesn't pick up litter unless it's under the water.
This was also in my view from my shady spot by the pond.
She makes Aquaman melt. In ways that I haven't seen Aquaman melt before.
I mean, really, I have curls too.
And soft supple skin.
And a gorgeous back.
And a cute butt.
But that's okay because seeing Aquaman melt for a baby, besides his own, makes me melt too. And that's a good thing.