She just turned 8. Eight. Eight, which comes before nine, which comes before ten (10). The year I got my period.
We gave her the boots. She was wearing her underwear. I couldn't adjust the settings quick enough. And so like in this photo too, when I just simply didn't know yet how to adjust settings to get the right photo in the right light, she's blue. And old.
For her birthday Paul Bunyan and I gave her a gift card to spend at I Tunes. Yesterday she picked out some songs.
She picked out:
1. Katy Perry's Hot n' Cold, where she calls out her boyfriend because he "PMS's like a bitch."
2. Miley Cyrus' Party In The USA, in which she describes "moving her hips like yeah."
3. Iyaz's Replay. He sings, "Who would ever knew/That we would ever be more than friends."
4. Taylor Swift's Love Story. "You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess."
5. Taylor Swift's You Belong To Me. She confesses to be "standing by and waiting at your back door," because "you belong with me."
6. Selena Gomez's "Naturally," where she espouses to "love the way you know who you are," and "that it takes [her] breath away."
She's been listening to these six songs for the last 24 hours. My head is swirling with images of boys knocking on the door, and her waiting for a boy to call...even though he's with someone else and her crying on her bed because he hasn't called. And then I see her dancing at a club and moving her body in a way that only a woman who knows not only what the word "sexy" means, but also how it actually feels.
I learned how to dance to a song about a woman named Billy Jean and I watched videos of a man who turned into a dancing werewolf and I listened to how to walk like an Egyptian. At 8, I didn't know what it meant to belong to someone, to wait for love, to have a boy take my breath away, or move my hips like "yeah". I don't think Claire understands these things either. But now that the words are on her I Pod and she's dancing her head off to them and belting out the lyrics, some day they will start to infiltrate into her head. And she will get it.
And somehow that makes me feel blue too. And all I want to do is read Fairy books with her on the couch until she leaves for college.