We're getting close!
Now on Day 38 we went for a mountain bike ride together before leaving the resort. Paul Bunyan had a plan and a map and I was excited to go. I don't really mountain bike anymore; although, I probably should since it's great exercise and it's free and I can step outside my door and do it. But I just don't and I think it's because I usually spend the majority of my time trying to catch up to someone. This has always been the case when I ride with Paul Bunyan. So a couples ride with Paul Bunyan usually is just a solo ride by myself until I catch up to him waiting at a trail juncture. Fine, whatever. It's always beautiful and worth the exercise just to be able to drink more prickly pear margaritas.
So as I was riding solo through the desert I had lots of time to have my opening(s). I cried three times but I'm not sure they were for no reason. I think I do have some legitimate excuses and here they are:
1) the first time I cried while mtn. biking through the desert alone was because I was thinking about the people who lost legs in the marathon bombings and I just couldn't get over the fact that they would never be able to do what I was doing at that moment. And what saddened me the most was if, perchance, they enjoyed doing these kind of (solo) rides with their partners then they would have to learn all over again how to do things together.
2) the second time I cried while mtn. biking through the desert alone was because I was so far away from Paul Bunyan that I got very scared of being snagged by a mountain lion and dragged away into its cave only to be devoured. I was then thinking about whether or not Paul Bunyan would find another woman who enjoyed taking solo couple mtn. bike rides. And it just made me sad that I would no longer be able to do this with him and that some other woman would. I wasn't and am not ready to share.
3) the third time I cried while mtn. biking through the desert alone was because I was just feeling sorry for myself that I couldn't keep up. But I kept breathing.
I think it was an opening but I'm not sure- whatever it was it opened me up for the ghost that entered my body later that night. But that story will have to wait until tomorrow.