Thursday, January 17, 2013

Blowin' in the wind.

A few days before Christmas we were hit with a crazy windstorm.  The last day of school before break was cancelled and for the teachers who didn't receive their crappy gifts from all their students, I'm sure, it felt like the world ended.  Our kids were psyched.  And then the power went out.  Word got out that it might be out until Christmas Eve.  "Wow," I thought, "what am I going to do with that gigantic pig butt we have for Christmas Eve dinner that was thawing out in the grill outside?"  "Wow," I thought, "wish we could use that grill to cook that gigantic pig butt since I have no oven to use."  And then I thought, "Wow, I wish the grill had not blown over in the storm and scattered into many little pieces on the ground because now I have to buy Paul Bunyan a new grill."   

Luckily the juice was only out for 48 hours.  And then I took a shower.

I sat at a stop light last Monday when I was returning home from work.  Yes, (throat clearing), I do work.  And I witnessed a hydrangea head blow through the intersection like a tumbleweed in a Western movie.  I looked around and saw the grass in the Waterbury Green looking flat and brown.  The two feet of snow that came down between Christmas and New Year's got washed away from the rain last weekend right into the Winooski River.  It looked disgusting around here.  They say there has been a January thaw every year since the beginning of anyone recording it- except maybe one year (1977) when either there was no winter, or winter was in summer, or I can't remember why. 

But it's snowing right now; in fact, the wind is blowing too.  I'm feeling a bit like I'm in a blizzard, tucked all up inside of its center.  I'm getting blown around like a tumbleweed across the desert. 

There are two types of people; well, there are many types but for right now, in this demonstration, there are two.  1) the people who wait for experiences to come to them and 2) the people who go after what they really want and make it happen. 

Jules and Cath and I were talking about this last night at the bakery.  Jules had an offer from another company come flying into her lap, as if it dropped out of the sky at the moment she needed it most.  What luck!  I've been waiting for something to drop out of the sky now for a few years- something other than rain on beautiful fluffy snow.  And then Paul Bunyan did something for me last April to help me become that other type of person that actually does something to make a dream come true.  He helped me to start doing this:

And I've loved doing this, especially with him.  Big schemes in my head about beer specials and building a special barn and having people come to fill growlers and campers converted to traveling bars inundated my brain.  BUT last night as I was standing in line to order my dinner I started to talk to a couple behind me, also from my hometown, who are STARTING A BREWERY one valley over.  Same concept- barn, growlers, parties, bands.  Our little town can't support two "come fill your growler" kind of establishments. 

I felt like my hydrangea head just got blown in another direction.  Is this a sign from the stars?  Is the world trying to tell me something? 

How is it that I turn 40 in 3 months and 10 days and I still am not sure what I'm "supposed" to be doing?  How does anyone ever really ever know that what they're doing is "supposed" to be what they're doing?  Are you supposed to be doing what you're doing?  Yes?  Really?  You think so?  What a wonderful feeling that must be!  Because this tumbleweed action is starting to make me feel like groupie following the wrong band.

1 comment:

  1. i like to answer or fix things, but i can't answer your questions. even about what i'm doing. i can post these lyrics (that perhaps i have before) because this is a way cool song. i don't know what he is saying. but it's cool.

    I listen to the wind
    To the wind of my soul
    Where I'll end up well I think,
    Only God really knows
    I've sat upon the setting sun
    But never, never never never
    I never wanted water once
    No, never, never, never

    I listen to my words but
    They fall far below
    I let my music take me where
    My heart wants to go
    I swam upon the devil's lake
    But never, never never never
    I'll never make the same mistake
    No, never, never, never