Darling Don't Be Afraid I Have Loved You

Happy Birthday sweet spicy little bear.  You're 11 today.  It's crazy how the seasons have come and gone.  I woke up this morning with this song in my head:

Heartbeats fast
Colors and promises
How to be brave
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall
But watching you stand alone
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

Time stands still
Beauty in all she is
I will be brave
I will not let anything take away
What's standing in front of me
Every breath
Every hour has come to this
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

One step closer
One step closer

I have died everyday waiting for you
Darling don't be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I love you for a thousand more

I never really understood that song.  I mean, I guess if you believe in reincarnation then it makes perfect sense.  Because when I was a bat before being me I guess I was, in essence, waiting for you.  And when I was a rat before I was the bat, then I guess I was waiting for you then too. 


But when I woke up this morning singing it- that I've loved you for a thousand years- it sort of made sense to me.  My love for you feels old; it's like I've been loving you for more than 11 years.  That you were mine before I was even me.  Okay, now I'm starting to get weird.

In all seriousness I think "time has brought your heart to me" and we've been so lucky to have you make our white walls brighter, our socks a little funkier, our cookies a little better, our parenting books a little more thorough, our hearts a little wider.   

And when I'm done here and turn into a bee, a snake, a bear, or a fat cat just know that I will love you for a thousand more.