Thursday, July 19, 2012

I'm Not Sure I Can Fix All This

I was awoken this morning at 5:30 a.m. by a one eyed rooster with a crooked crow.  He was on the losing end of a cock fight- one we missed while we broke rules at Half Moon State Park.  I'm not sure how injured he is but Paul Bunyan says they both must go, although I'm not sure I can be the one to slit their throats.

I was awoken this morning by the warning call of an alpaca.  She was on the losing end of a territory fight.  Pig keeps getting out of his pen to make friends with the alpacas.  He is, of course, a herd animal and is lonely because his brother died last week of complications with a hernia.  He is now cut up in four pieces in my freezer, fur still attached to bones in spots because I didn't know where and how to cut.  And we owe a neighbor three hours of pork for the time spent showing us how to slaughter a pig.  There isn't enough meat there for repayment.

The water pump down at the alpaca tent got fried by a lightning strike for the second time in a month.  It is not insured.  There is no water for the animals.  The heat lamp we have to keep our 40 roaster chicks warm keeps burning bulbs.  They're in the cold dark.  The basement was full of water for reasons we can't determine- causing the mold to grow on hockey equipment laying in wait for September. 

On Wednesday night I met the father of the ten year old boy who died two weeks ago after he got pinned under his riding mower.  He gave my children free smoothies down at the Lake House Grill on Lake Bomoseen because Max wanted to have a smoothie bar at their new tiki bar on the water.  It was his idea to have sand at the bar.  My kids hung out there all night.  Left their shoes at the door.  He kept apologizing to me for crying and I just wanted to hug him.  And now when I'm supposed to hold my ten year old closer to me I have to put her on a plane tomorrow a.m. for Minnesota- all by herself.

And then when I return home from sending my daughter away, Paul Bunyan and I have to say good-bye to a fixture that has been a part of our lives for over 13 years.  We have to dig a hole and lay our friend Sydney in it.  And then we have to fix the roosters, fix the pig, fix the pump, fix the chicks, fix the mold, and hold each other tight.


  1. That's a lot to fix, Mar. But if anyone can, you can. Sending some love over the mountain. xo.

  2. (with a slight lyrical modification)

    When you try your best, but you don't succeed
    When you get what you want, but not what you need
    When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
    Stuck in reverse

    And the tears come streaming down your face
    When you lose something you can't replace
    When you love someone, but it goes to waste
    Could it be worse?

    Lights will guide you home
    And ignite your bones
    ...your family will fix you