I think it's here. Sun. Blue sky. Mud. Yay (facetiously said)! The mud is here! No, really, I think this year I'm psyched Spring has arrived. But there is still enough snow in the woods to have to snowshoe. And there is still snow up to the kitchen winder. So, it's still here. For awhile, at least.
But sun shining in while I was doing the dishes this morning made the mundane task, well, not so mundane. Pandora in the background. Limitless possibilities in the foreground. And then this song came on:
And I turned into a weepy mess.
Claire had a birthday party at the beginning of March. Lots of friends, pizza, root beer, skating, sledding, a few boys. SCREECH! Wha? A few boys? Yeah. A few boys. What's the big deal? They came rolling in with clouds and clouds of cologne in their wake. They brought a new dimension to the party. Claire broke her boyfriend's heart that night. What's the big deal, right? Her best friend will probably be dating him next month. Cacacarazy.
Well, the twins came home from their skating party at one point in the night. They were headed back out to a sleepover but they came home to grab their sleeping bags and pillows and when they walked in they got a "Sup?" from one of the boys, and a "What's up Bro?" from another. One of the them gave them a high five and my heart overflowed with some pride. Claire's picked out some great guy friends. For them to notice "the little bros" was cool. My mind raced to next year. The twins will be up at the middle school. I was seeing them in the hallway getting high fives from these "older" boys, wanting desperately for Claire to accept them into her "cool" group of friends. What if they could all hang out together through the years? Her boyfriends, Claire, them- down in the basement sneaking beer from the kegerator? SCREECH. Wha? No, well, you know what I mean.
Four days ago she posted this on Instagram:
What the hell is happening? I'll tell you what is happening: HER FRIENDS THINK HER BROTHERS ARE COOL! That's right, she's using them to gain popularity! No, I'll tell you what I think is really happening:
THIS WOMAN has saved our family. Our family meetings are sometimes well attended and sometimes not, but having appreciations to start them off has done something miraculous to our family dynamic. At first it was hard for them to come up with things that they appreciate about each but last night Timmy said, "I appreciate that Claire is nice to me." SCREECH! Wha? Seriously? She laughed and said, "Yeah, I shared my popcorn with him." SCREECH! What? Seriously? I tell you....it's fucking working. And why wouldn't it? If I told Paul Bunyan how much I appreciate him on a daily basis life would be so much greater. And if someone told me how much they appreciate me on a daily basis, I might work harder to please them. It's incredible. Seriously, why are we such assholes to each other? It makes no sense.
So, if we keep this up, if we keep telling each other how much we appreciate what we do, or how we do something, the possibilities are endless. Claire will want to hang with her brothers, listen to their opinions, help them pick out hairstyles and clothes. They will share things, now and in their lives when they leave this home. And as the Avett Brothers so artfully spelled out to me this morning, "There is nothing worth sharing like the love that let us share our name."
We are the Ganzies. They are the Ganzies.